I am a planner. If I have to do something, I usually spend a lot of time and effort, researching, planning and then consider myself ready to take on the task. And when I do something, most of the time I put my heart and soul into it. It is very rare that I do not give my everything in tasks I do, so the same goes for planning.
So for a person like this, doing things on an impulse was a whole new thing. It took time to learn to let go of my organized side at times and accept the freshness of doing things on an impulse. Once I let my inhibitions go, I actually began to enjoy things done on an impulse. But given a choice, I would love to do things in an organized way. But I have now learnt to do things both ways.
But where I am really struggling is to switch to Plan B and still find peace with it. I get so disappointed and upset if things do not go as per plans, and upon switching to plan B, I switch off somewhere inside and stop enjoying myself. Maybe it is the effort I put into the planning that makes me so disappointed. Most of the times when I plan, I would have exactly imagined how the entire thing would play out almost living through those moments before they happen. Maybe it is over planning the minutest of details.
It is a little hard for me to understand this and find a solution, because by nature I am the kind who would adjust and adapt to any situation. I am not scared of surprises. But I am extremely bad at letting go of something I had carefully planned, for whatever reasons and accepting an alternative.
I am very possessive by nature, and am beginning to wonder, in the course of planning do I get so overtly attached to my plans that I find it hard to let go? The quest to the perfect solution to this problem is still on!