February 9, 2011

Spring Cleaning

The groundhog not seeing its shadow and the constant chirping of the birds promises that spring is near. Just what I needed as I was almost getting lost on a wrong path. There is something about a new beginning that is so exciting. I for some reason associate it with the smell of soil when it rains. It just brings a freshness to life. So its the perfect time for spring cleaning. And where do I start, right within!
With a lot of time in my hand these days it just struck me about how different I am from most people. And in the shock, I tried to be more like the majority to be a part of the crowd. And boy oh boy, I ended up making myself feel so miserable, I am never going back there again.
Lesson number one, I can never fit myself into any category of people out there. So I am just going to be myself and going to be mighty proud of that. And lesson number two, not many will really understand about who I really am. So I am going to stop getting frustrated about people not understanding me.
So with the strange being that I am with a combination of a way too matured mind and way too naive heart it is but natural for people to react strangely to me. They either think I am over and done with all earthly feelings and sitting in a rocking chair staring at my grave or they think I am too foolish for following my heart. Bottom line is I am not in the Rat Race. So quit pulling me in.
And yes if you have not already noticed it I have a more than perfect life. It did not just happen overnight, I earned it. And I deserve it. So if something about my life shakes you from the ground, re-root yourself, please do not try to uproot me.

And here begins my spring cleaning....That felt good! Now moving on to my refrigerator.

P.S - All references above are not intended to be made to any person living or dead. They are solely directed to the negativity in me. If anybody claims to represent the above mentioned the word for it is 'Coincidence'.

January 19, 2011

Lines from the past

As I was sorting out old books in my study, I found a sheet of paper with 8 lines of verse. It was not any work of art, or my deepest feelings or any lost treasure. But with it came back memories of my life as a graduate student. It is some silly lines written during a 7:30 am class on a cold winter day when I had dragged myself out of bed to class. I remember the scene and how distracted I was and how hard it was to even sit there that morning leave alone concentrate. I read the lines, laughed at it and put it in the recycle pile. Then I found it again fallen out of the bin and I read and laughed again. Then I put it with the shredder pile and again found it fallen down after 2 days. When I read it again I found all the memories come back again. So I decided I will post it here for myself to take me back to those days every time I read it.

I try not to think of You,
I make my eyes look at the other hues.

I strain to hear sounds other than yours,
I try not to feel the waves inside me roar.

I try my best but away from you I cannot go,
My eyes are blinded and thoughts refuse to flow.

I am obsessed by you, and feel like a looser,
I am lost in your control, dreaded hunger.