Through the eyes of a child

I met a little girl of about 3 years when I was at the pediatrician's office yesterday with Av. She was there with her little brother of about 3-4 months and her dad. She entered into the office and immediately scanned the room with those beautiful alert eyes and independently took off her coat and started playing with some toys around there. I was really surprised about how confident and independent she was as she handled herself and her belongings all on her own.

Her dad was busy on a phone call and even stepped out for a few minutes leaving the two of them when her little brother started crying. She ran to his side and rocked his car seat and caught me red handed staring at her wide eyed. I gave her the biggest smile to tell her she was doing a great job when her dad came back in. He hurriedly told the person on the other side that he needs to take care of the kids and hung up. For a couple of minutes everything was good and the dad was involved with the baby as the little girl played near them happily explaining what she was playing.

And before she knew it her dad was browsing on the phone while she kept trying to get his attention. She called out to him to show how she had arranged some blocks of the same colors together, she got no response. She called "Dad" again and again and each time she was louder until finally she got a response from him. "Don't scream, haven't I told you not to talk in such a loud voice when we are outside".  The girl looked away and looked at me with a hurt look in her eyes, and that was one of those moments that forces you to rethink how you react to things.

I have done it so many times, when I have been distracted, stressed and overburdened. Retorted back at the kids without pausing to see why they did what they did in the first place.
She then kept talking to him and telling him how she had come to this place when she was so little, when mommy was there and she was there and daddy was there. And she kept repeating it over and over again just to say that just being together then was such a warm feeling that she still remembers it now.

They used to say Stop to Smell the Roses, maybe we need to add Disconnect to Connect with the kids loved ones!

Happy 2013

I have always been the kind, who would turn to a new sheet at school if I got stuck with something and start afresh. I have always loved new beginnings though I am the sentimental types and clutch onto things from the past. Needless to say I love the novelty a new year brings and leaves me all inspired.

My resolution for the year is simple, to reach out, communicate, open up, come out of my shell. But as simple as it sounds people who know me know how hard that is for me. So I am leaving it at that and adding nothing else. If I can achieve even a little and call myself a more social person at the end of 2013 I will be glad. So if it is not obvious enough the plan is to blog a lot and respond to every comment. :) So for all you people who want to help me in the process and comment regularly, thank you in advance.

Wishing everyone peace, health and happiness this year. And here is some inspiration with a few lines from a song from the musical Mame.

Open a new window,

Open a new door,

Travel a new highway,

That's never been tried before;

Before you find you're a dull fellow,

Punching the same clock,

Walking the same tight rope

As everyone on the block.

The fellow you ought to be is three dimensional,

Soaking up life down to your toes,

Whenever they say you're slightly unconventional,

Just put your thumb up to your nose.

And show 'em how to dance to a new rhythm,

Whistle a new song,

Toast with a new vintage,

The fizz doesn't fizz too long.

There's only one way to make the bubbles stay,

Simply travel a new high way,

Dance to a new rhythm,

Open a new window ev'ry day!

My little big girl

Dearest A,

My little big girl!!!  How do I begin telling you all that I feel when I look at you now! When did you grow up so fast!  The feeling is simply bittersweet, and in the true sense of the word.  There is as much bitterness to it as there is sweetness.

On one hand I am angry with time for having gone by so fast.  I just feel you were a preschooler yesterday completely in love with your pretend world, looking behind your shoulder every now and then to make sure I am right there.  I still remember how you would speak sentences perfectly very early on and a random word would still remind us of your cute toddler talk. I especially waited eagerly to hear to see if you still said ‘life’ for knife.  And then suddenly overnight you stood there tall with those newly acquired knowledge in your eyes, much like an overgrown sapling after the monsoons.  It was the reading wasn’t it? That was what changed you from the preschooler to the big kid. It is not so much about being able to sound the letters or say the words or read a book. It was more about one of the biggest doors to the world being opened. You felt free and independent; your little eyes could read what they wanted.  I no longer could skip words that I did not want you pondering about from books; I could not hide billboards that gave too much information for that little mind; I could no longer keep you in that protected world I had created for you. And then big kid school happened, and you got to skip kindergarten and again because you could read so well! It was quite something for this Mimi of yours to see you transform from the preschooler to the first grader. It is one big bundle of emotions that I pack with you every day in your backpack with the lunch and homework. And there is one thing I say to myself every day when I wave to you when you are off to school, ‘Let go’.

On the other hand I am brimming with pride seeing your achievements and happy beyond words that I instilled in you the love to read. Maybe I don’t say it to you often enough, but you don’t stop amazing me! It has been a year of changes for you and you have adapted to every new situation beautifully though you have mostly heard from me about how you are not doing that small little thing properly.  You have been a great big sister, a great mommy’s helper, a great mommy’s anger management  guide ( I am still working on getting an A+ in this one, though I am very happy I have now achieved an A in it with your help!), mommy-daddy’s argument referee, a great cheer up card maker. You have been more than what I wanted in a daughter, so far my little girl. J (I had to say that didn’t I) Of course everything comes in a package, the maturity in you sometimes kicks in so much that we get a sneak peek of your teenage years!

You my little girl are out in the world now.  I know you are more than capable of handling what lies ahead of you, but take it slow. There is a lot more to this world than what appears. Like you thought those little things hanging from your bag’s zipper fell off on consecutive days, there is no need to know that there is more to it than what you thought. It is best to face the world with enthusiasm and confidence and learn from your experiences and mistakes than going out there with fear.  We have shown you the way and given you the map; you have to choose the right paths and build the right opportunities.  Make it one exciting journey that you will be proud of!  And remember you are never too old to look behind your shoulder, and when you do, I will always be there.

Love-Mimi