Rituals - Part 1

Leela recognized the fragrance from a distance, it was the one with which she had lived for the first decade of her life. She picked up the jasmine scented candle and handed it to the cashier along with a twenty dollar bill.  “You will love this one”, said the cashier Sara as she wrapped the candle carefully with tissue, “I’m sure you will be back for more”.  Leela looked up at her with a distant look in her eyes, collected her bag and whispered, “I wish I had gone back for more”.

It had been a long day, she felt drained; physically from the 9 hours at work and emotionally from the 90 minutes at Dr. Wang’s office.  She had finalized a major deal for a high stake project for her bank that day, but had failed to bank anything from her session with Dr. Wang except for advice to brighten up her evenings with warm candles to keep the negative thoughts at bay.

She settled in her favorite chair with a bowl of mushroom soup with just a hint of cream.  The warm soup felt like it was made for the crispy autumn night, just like the candle that burned on the table next to her.  The fragrance was distinct like the memories it brought with it. Her face had always shone even from a distance like she carried the bright round sun on her forehead, lit by the diamonds on her ears and nose, clad in deeply dyed saris.  The strand of jasmine flowers had always completed the look of Leela’s Amma, as she called her.

“I will be scared without you Amma”, were Leela’s last words to her.  Amma’s reply echoed in her ears as clear as they had sounded thirty five years ago “I will always be with you Leelu, when you are in doubt think of me and you will know what to do”.  

She had always been in doubt, since the day she had traveled, in what seemed an endless journey to live with her parents, who were no less strange than the new country itself. 

To be continued....

Milestone Day

This is going to be a personal milestone day. A is going to be attending her first book club today at the local library. I have been more excited than her and its a big day for me. Yes I am that mushy kind of mom who records every small moment with teary eyes. It will be one of those moments today when I drop her off at the door. But inside I will be doing a happy dance for sure!
And the icing on the cake? A announced that she wants to be a writer when she grows up! I know, I know they change the answer to that at the drop of  a hat, but for now I will take that, and happily too!

I have been asked by a lot of people about how we went about learning to read, and I have composed those emails many a times. I thought it would be good to record it here for my own reference in a few years for little Av. Will soon write about that. And by the way we have a little story teller in her already. Today my nap time story was "One day....Kikka (Krishna) wanted butter. Kikka eat butter and went to sleep. Cried mamma mamma, wa-wa-wa".

My little girl

Dear Av,

When you are ready to read this blog, I know exactly what you will say to me. “So many posts about A and no posts about me till I was 22 months?”  I was beginning to get nightmares about this question that I have to face in my future, so better late than never, here is my first letter to you!

You came into this world when someone else already meant the world to me. A was special, she is still special, she is my first born. I first experienced motherhood with her; we spent 5 years together before you came. But in those 5 years, there were many occasions when we spoke about you, planned how we would do this and that when you would be there. We always knew our family was incomplete without you.

When we first told A about you being inside me, she was thrilled beyond words. My second set of nine months became really special because of this beautiful bond that I saw being born between the two of you. We even had a time allotted every day where we would spend alone time with you. A would draw pictures for you on my belly; she would talk to you and sing to you. And once you were here I only saw this bond between you two getting stronger and stronger amidst all the love and fights.  Because of you I realized the meaning of sibling love, something I have never experienced before.  I loved the moment when I held you the first time, but honestly I loved the moment when I saw your sister hold you for the first time more!

You are the official stress buster of the house. Your smile can turn any dull moment into a fulfilling one.  If I have to describe you in two words I would say “Sweet Naughtiness”. You can get away with any crime with those eyes and smile.  You have brought about a new meaning to fun in our lives.

About why I have not written about you till now, there is only one reason.  I have been so busy with you! Chasing you, stopping you from danger while you were doing somersaults in the yard; standing head down from the sofa; hanging from the table;  swinging from chairs; sliding down the stairs; Running after you to eat your food!  And when I get a few moments away from all this I would be so exhausted and the last thing I wanted to do is write about you! I love you to death, and though you have heard me complain to people how the two girls are so different from each other, I wouldn't have you any other way.  While A did everything the perfect way since she was a baby, you are perfect the way you are!

Love - Mimi